3 Simple Ways to Engage Parents in Your Children’s Ministry

There's no bigger frustration than having super excited kids in your kidmin or youth ministry only to have their excitement squashed by their parents. Usually, the parents aren't doing this maliciously, they're just not in the loop with what you're doing, or worst case scenario, they feel excluded by you, so they're not buying into your programs and your ideas as much as you'd like them to.

If you're new here, I'm Tonya Johnson and I work alongside parents and youth leaders who are fighting hard to build a strong foundation for the next generation. I went to a ministry college meaning while I was getting my degree in secondary education I had the privilege to "intern" if you will for the largest baptist youth group in the country. Together my husband and I have been leading youth groups and children's church programs since 2013. I understand that the world is fighting for the hearts of our youth, so we need to be fighting even harder. My goal is to provide you with the tools to do just that.

So how do you cultivate a culture within your children's and youth ministries that invites parents to be just as excited as the kids? It really is as simple as ABC.

Some parents are happy to drop off and use the children's ministry as a childcare facility so they can sit down and enjoy the service. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Some parents, parents like myself and my husband, are not comfortable with that. We come to church to worship as a family and want to serve in the programs our kids are attending; we don't want the childcare experience. Neither way is right or wrong, but you have to be smart enough to know which parents are which and use them accordingly. Trying to coax a parent to volunteer who doesn't want to is just as much of a turn off as telling a parent who does want to volunteer that your volunteer list is "full". Both will turn people away from your church. The easiest way to do this is have a meeting with a new family once they've been coming for a while and let them know what the guidelines are if they want to eventually help in their kid's or teen's program while at the same time reassuring them that if they never want to volunteer, that's ok too! You're just happy to have their child in class and are there to support them as a family in whatever way they need.

*For a family who doesn't want to volunteer, but wants to sit in on a class or two before committing to leaving their kid with you, let them! Pushing parents out of a kidmin or youth service is a huge red flag. My family has personally left a church because of this. Not everyone will, but a lot will and you won't know it until they're gone.

Sunday and Wednesday conversations are awesome, but how are you supporting that family outside of church services? How are you showing families that you love and support them in their every day lives? Here're a few things my husband and I routinely do that go a long way with families of the kids and teens we have the privilege of teaching; attend family functions, ie birthday parties and special events, go to kids' sports and academic events, invite them over to your house for meals and game nights, etc. A friendly church has parents who are more engaged and more wiling to help with special events and activities than a church who treats their people like numbers. If I go to a church that only is friendly to me when I'm in the services, eventually I'm going to stop doing anything extra to help when they need it. On the other hand, when a church becomes a family like the Bible says they're supposed to be, parents will come out of the wood work to help you set up VBS, clean before a big service, stuff 3,000 Easter eggs for the Easter Service, and so much more! Make it a point to be a friendly church, not just fake friendly during service times.

Our goal as youth leaders is not to separate the kids from the family, but rather strengthen the family unit. In the American church, this opinion isn't popular, but I'm telling you it works. If you want families in your church that are committed to serving God together, not lukewarm kids with on fire parents or vice versa, you'll choose family activities over segregating the ages. Now, I'm not saying you can never have kids only events or that family events have to mean that the whole family participates or that the church pays for the family, but families should always be welcome.

What l've done is put together a free resource for you that has 25 activities ranging from paid to free that you can get families involved in. God put us in a place of power to strengthen the family, not divide it.

Download the freebie for 25 real life examples that we've successfully done in our small church/ small groups. Then there are several types of activities when it comes to including families.

*Parents included: Overnight activities, lock ins, events that they earned, etc. There are times when it's not appropriate to include younger siblings in youth activities for example, but parents should never be excluded. And I'm not just saying it should be understood that parents are welcome, it should be audibly spoken each time. Make your parents feel welcome, not like they're having to push their way in to your activity or like they're a burden for wanting to be involved in their child's or teen's spiritual growth.

*Whole family included to participate (charge per person): bowling, mini golf, zoo activities, arcade, etc.

*Whole family included to watch: (free, bring your own snacks) Pickleball tournament

*Whole family... free event - field day, makeshift mini golf, any holiday party.
This goes for both kidmin and youth btw. All of these tips apply to both programs.

-break it up by age if needed, but if you're a smaller church, you can host all ages at once. That part is 100% up to you.

The church we're visiting right now is hosting a painting day for ages 7-12 and their families. They have It open to the community also, so not only are family activities like this a great way to get to know the families of your church better, they are also a great way to grow your church and your youth ministries.

1. Make a list of all of the parents in your church

2. Start working through them and building those one on one relationships with them.
3. Download the free resource and choose one activity that you can start planning to strengthen the families in your church

Until next time, this is Tonya Johnson from Helping Hearts Homeschool where I help parents and youth leaders train up the next generation, see y'all next week!

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