Going Into 2024 As An ORGANIZED MOM

I'm super excited about today's training because it applies to literally EVERYONE. Homeschool mom? Applies to you. #Mompreneur? Yup, still applies! Dog mom? Applies to you too. Not one person is excluded from this and I promise if you take steps to implement the systems we talk about today, you'll have a much more productive and a happier 2024 than you did 2023. By the way, not saying your 2023 was bad. For me, I can honestly say 2023 was fantastic, but there's always room for growth and I'm so excited to see what 2024 brings. At the end of this blog I've got a whole organizational packet I want to give you for free to help you reach whatever your goals are for this next year. 

Disclaimer: I've been taking time management and organization courses for over a decade now. There's nothing new under the sun; I didn't create any of this, I've simply pieced things together that work for real life moms and put a pretty name on it. 

I also want to say it's not enough to simply have systems in place, those systems have to be flexible and fool proof or they just won't work. We're going to go over some dos and don’ts of staying organized, 3 steps to stay on task EVERY SINGLE TIME, and then 4 common road blocks and how to overcome them. This is not a time management training, it's specifically to help you organize your life so you CAN have better time management skills. Once you're done with this blog, check out the BossMom Scheduling System if you want a tried and true time management system that you can implement immediately.  

These are some "systems" that lead to overwhelm very quickly. Now, I use the word systems loosely, but that's what they are. They're not good systems, but they are systems.

1. Physical triggers- This is a system a lot of moms use. They have stacks of bills lying around to remind them to pay them. Baskets of laundry to remind them to fold and put away or start a load. You get my drift. Anything that serves as a physical reminder to complete a task would be considered a physical trigger. 

The reason this system is a don't is because they clutter both your house and your mind which you guessed it, causes you to feel overwhelmed. You may not actually have THAT much to do, but having 5 piles of "stuff" in view throws your brain into overload. 

2. Constant electronic reminders- This is the equivalent of hitting the snooze button so often that you eventually wake up and realize you somehow slept through 2 hours of "snoozes".  Having an electronic alarm go off for every little thing eventually just trains your mind to ignore them. They become like white noise. 

3. Post it notes- This system is similar to the electronic reminders in the respect that you'll eventually just start ignoring them. Your eyes will physically see them, but your brain just kind of recognizes them as "oh, one of those again", and there's no motivation to actually complete the task on the post it. In addition, it leads to a cluttered looking home when you have post it notes all over which if you're like me and have sensory issues can lead to sensory overload and you guessed it again, overwhelm. 

In short, being overwhelmed sucks, so let's set up all the safe guards...

I want to tell y'all a bit of my story because most people don't know that I'm not naturally an organized person and in fact, I didn't learn these skills until about 5 years into parenthood. In addition, my biggest struggle is overwhelm. That combined with my anxiety will cause me to go into what I call paralyzed mode because my mind literally just powers off and the "noise" becomes too much. 

I want to share my story to give that mom hope who feels like they just "can't" keep up with life. I got in the rut of thinking I was just "doing too much" when in reality I just didn't have the proper systems in place to be both productive and happy. 

I grew up in a very chaotic household. There was literally stuff EVERYWHERE... think hoarders... I'm not even kidding. We didn't plan anything, nothing ran on a system, and the sensory overload was a real issue for me. Unfortunately this chaos also allowed abuse to happen in our home from various outsiders. I would go into shut down mode where I'd just stay away from home because it was too much to handle. I eventually turned to a few choice vices to numb myself because I was on edge literally all the time and just wanted the noise to stop.

In college I got clean for a bit and learned some time management skills. The environment was much less chaotic, but I'd still go into overwhelm mode because y'all know, college is hard. I still didn't have any organizational skills, so I'd just run on burn out mode until eventually I'd shut down and stay in bed for 24-48 hours and do nothing then pull all nighters trying to catch up. 

On more than one occasion I remember waking up to DOZENS of missed calls and texts from my coworkers because I didn't show up for work and no one could reach me. What would happen is I'd be so exhausted that I'd skip lunch to take a 30 min nap because I literally couldn't keep my eyes open, and then I'd oversleep my alarm and end up waking up 7-8 hours later in a panic because I thought for sure I was going to lose my job for pulling a no call no show. Luckily I had a way better boss than I deserved, but I was in a very unhealthy cycle that eventually caused me to relapse my sobriety and hide my vice in a Tylenol bottle so my roommates wouldn't notice. My poor eyesight combined with college classes caused frequent headaches, so no one paid any mind to my "Tylenol habit". I'd like to think I was really good at hiding my habit, but I think more realistically, because I was at a Christian college, no one really knew the signs to look for. I was also in a student leadership position at this time, so that combined with the fact that years of abuse caused me to have trust issues and share very little of myself, no one had a reason to suspect I was using. 

When I started dating my husband, I gave up my vices once again. He was from a very strict, churchy home, so no way was this going to fly with him. As a newly wed I quickly realized that overwhelm was my biggest obstacle in staying sober. My anxiety, sensory overloads, conflict, and chaos all led to extreme overwhelm for me which proved to be my biggest trigger. I've been sober since we started dating, but in the beginning it was  easier said than done because I didn't fully know what my triggers were or how to avoid them. So many things would lead to overwhelm which would lead to me having a meltdown and "needing to just take the edge off and numb my mind in order to quiet the "noise". I was in a constant battle with myself. 

Fast forward to having my daughter, transitioning to working from home, and spiraling into the worst depression I had ever known. It got bad. I feel like I hid it pretty well from the outside world because I've always felt the need to appear put together ever since leaving home as a teenager, but my husband saw the ugly truth first hand. He was there when the dishes and laundry would pile up and I wouldn't shower for days at a time. He was there when I'd snap at him at 1am when he asked why I wasn't in bed yet and when I'd break down sobbing for no apparent reason because I was just overwhelmed with life. 

That's when I got serious about learning some organizational systems. I realize that my story is extreme, most of you reading this aren't dealing with addiction, you're like Tonya "am I in the right spot, I'm just struggling with keeping up with housework, it's not that serious." Yes, this is for you. Most moms struggle with anxiety, and some of y'all have extreme anxiety. I know because you've emailed me and told me. Overwhelm causes a lot of issues from minor to major and stems from so many different things that it's mind blowing. If these systems helped me in my extreme situation, maybe they can help you too! 

For me, it was not an overnight fix and it for sure wasn't easy, but these systems are/were a complete life changer. None of us will ever be perfect in this area, but when I tell you mine, my daughters, and my husband's life is 100% better because I (excuse my tone here) shut up and got over myself and listened to someone who was more experienced than me, I'm not exaggerating.  I hate admitting that I need help. It's easier to say "There's nothing wrong with me. This is just the way I am and I'm doing the best I can, " than it is to dig deep and get better. I'm so glad I put my pride aside and worked on myself. 

I'm way more productive now, yet I have way more me time. I get to start each day leisurely with Jesus, I have a clean (ish) house, I prepare healthy meals for my family, I run a successful business and I homeschool with all the bells and whistles. Again, not perfect and there are still times I feel a small amount of overwhelm, but I can't tell you the last time I went into paralysis mode AND every single time I started feeling overwhelmed I could easily pinpoint the systems I was neglecting. It's not a mystery anymore and it's preventable. Do the systems, enjoy life, period. It's like magic! 

I want to give y'all some systems that work and are flexible. This is the 
50,000 foot overview, but in the next section we'll break it down into 3 easy steps that anyone can do to get started. 

Just to state it again, this is all about organization, if time management is your struggle, check out the BossMom Scheduling System when you're done with this. Ok, let's get into it! 

1. Get up early, go to bed early. Honestly y'all, I hate this one! I'm naturally a night owl and have tried so many times to stay up late and get up late, but I ALWAYS sacrifice productivity by doing so. And it's not just me, it's been proven that people who get up early and go to bed early are more productive than their night owl friends EVERY SINGLE TIME. I wish it wasn't true, but it is. I always get hate for this one, but again, it's not an opinion and it's not even a system I like... but I do it because it works and I really dislike the alternative... feeling overwhelmed. 

It's also worth noting that "getting up early" is a relative term. Your early may not be my early or vice versa. This depends on what your life looks like and how many responsibilities you've chosen to take on. My early is between 3-5am, but my friend Mandy who is also incredibly successful doesn't get up til between 6-7am. We have different lives and that's where this system is a flexible one because you get to decide what early means for you. 

2. Go over your schedule each night before going to bed. This allows you to wake up running when your feet hit the floor because you already have a clear plan of action for the day ahead. The "how to" for scheduling is inside the BossMom Scheduling System, but today we're talking about the simple system of preparedness. 

Each evening before I start my night routine, I sit down and spend 10-15 min looking over my mock schedule for the next day and adjusting it to fit what's currently going on in our life. I copy and paste my mock schedule, then plug in what needs to be done from my running to do list. See attached video for the full explanation of this. 

Side note: When it comes to what I put on my to do list: my rule is if it's a one step task that takes 5 min or less, I do it as soon as it comes to my attention. If it's more than one step or takes more than 5 min I add it to my running to do list and decide where it falls in line priority wise. Taking these few min each night to prepare my mind and focus on what needs to be done the next day not only helps me be way more productive, but it prevents me from getting overwhelmed. I'm not thinking about the dozens of tasks that need done stressing that there's no way I have time. I'm just focused on getting a good night's rest and then tackling tomorrow with a clear plan. 

3. Get up before your kids- Again, not a morning person, so I didn't love learning this one. This one system is probably the one that makes the most difference though. We set the tone for our family for the day which leads me into our last system. 

4. Start with journaling/reading/devotions/self development. Basically remember what I said above that we set the tone for our families for the day. If we start it peacefully, our day will go better than if we start it rushed as we're rolling out of bed and shoving a pop tart in our kids' faces. Everyone's journaling routine will be different, this is the one I like to follow. In addition I read my bible and a chapter or two of a personal development book. I spend 60-90 min each morning preparing my mind before Glori ever wakes up, and on the occasion that I oversleep, it's already part of my system, so I still sit down and feed my mind before I do much of anything else while she crafts or does her responsibilities. This helps me stay positive throughout the day, focus on what I'm grateful for, and have more patience with my family. 

Now that we've gone over the basics of organization, I want to show you how to plug everything in. This is the exact same system I use, and you can see it way more in depth over at The BossMom Scheduling System. Think of this section as the appetizer and then the main course is over there. 

First thing you'll want to do is put it all together. Don't fall into the trap of having some of your tasks on your notes app, others in a paper planner, and the rest on random scraps of paper in your purse. Keep a running to do list. Personally, I use the BossMom Home Planner. This planner comes with 12 months of undated to do lists, calendars, and cleaning checklists, so you can buy it once and reuse it year after year. Because my to do list is on a paper planner, meaning I don't have it with me 24/7, I keep a digital list on my phone. When things pop up throughout the week and I don't have my planner with me, I add the task to my phone. Each night during that 15 min schedule overview session, I transfer them from my phone to my running to do list, so on a consistent basis, everything is in one place.

Use a planner. I don't care if it's paper or digital, but use a planner. After working with hundreds of moms on the topic of time management and seeing these systems put into place across all walks of life, there are a few reasons I'm 100% sold on using a planner. 

1. You can visually see wasted time. If you're new to time management, I highly recommend giving yourself a time audit.

2. You will accomplish more. Time is tricky because if left unchecked, we usually get way less done than expected. On the contrary, when we assign our tasks to a time limit, we can accomplish way MORE than expected. I can't explain it, but every single time I've put it to the test, it's been proven to be true. One tip when scheduling tasks is to  leave a little extra time for each one and then also schedule in a 5 or so min transition period from task to task. 

3. You can prioritize. We can all agree that certain tasks on our list hold precedence over others. When we can see our list in order of importance, it prevents the feeling of doing all the things only to come to the end of the day feeling like nothing has been done. The goal is to curb busy work and actually get to the work that matters. Speaking of goals, if you're not crystal clear on how to set AND achieve your goals, check out our Ultimate Goal Planning System. This will have you hitting your goals time after time, and really living your best life! 

4. You can kick unrealistic expectations. All too common I've fallen into the trap of having a huge list with no times plugged in and tackled it with the attitude of "I'm going to get so much done today. Literally, I wouldn't be surprised if this list is done by dinner and I have time to do xyz." You guessed it. Every single time the afternoon would come and go and with every passing half hour I would feel increasingly rushed, become highly irritated, treat my daughter like a burden or like she was messing up my schedule (not directly, but we could both feel it). Ultimately I would end the day feeling like a failure in all areas. If I would've simply plugged those tasks into a time segments, I could've easily seen what amount of work I could realistically get done instead of "biting off more than I could chew."

So yes, I can speak from experience as can all of my clients, a planner is your best friend. 

Real life example: I got out of the habit of scheduling over Thanksgiving travels (this was written in Nov 2023). All last week I've been feeling overwhelmed, irritated, etc, and my to do list has been getting all of my attention yet it doesn't seem to be getting any smaller. This week I set aside time to write out my schedule for each day, and so far in 2 days I've gotten more done than I did in the last 8 PLUS made time for crafts and games each day with the munchkin. If that isn't proof that every single mom should be practicing time management and organizational skills so they can show up as the best mom possible for their kids, I don't know what is. 

The goal is to get to a point where you can follow your calendar 80/20 each week. 80% of the time you'll be able to stick pretty closely to your schedule. 20% of the time it's going to look messy because people are more important than to do lists. If your first reaction is dang, my kids are going to make it hard to stick to a schedule even 10% of the time, check out the Time Management for Kids class that I did for y'all. Kids strive on structure, but you have to be structured before you can teach them to be. This is one of many lessons I learned the hard way. Give yourself grace, mind the organizational dos and don'ts, follow the systems, and be cautious of the roadblocks. 

Tv, social media, online shopping, (fill in the blank) can become a distraction. I'm not saying you can't schedule in time for all of the above if you wish (I schedule plenty of time for shopping), but if you mindlessly fall into it when you should be doing something else it becomes a distraction. 

One thing that IS NOT a distraction is our children. They are the priority and why we do what we do. If they occasionally feel like a distraction it's because they're kids. They depend on us fully and sometimes that's going to inconvenience us... and we'll miss it when it's gone. Enjoy it while you have it. 

If they CONSTANTLY feel like a distraction due to misbehavior, the root of the problem is probably one of three things; your home lacks structure and they are just following suite, you're too focused on your task list and they need more attention, or the love/discipline balance is off in your relationship with them. You may need to focus on some parenting helps along with focusing on time management and organization. 

I love using Mel Robbin's 5 second rule for this one. When it's time to do a task that I don't want to do, I just count backwards from 5. When I get to zero I get up and do the thing. This also works wonders for getting up in the morning instead of hitting snooze a billion times, but that's for a whole different blog. 

The sneaky procrastinator's cousin- ms. perfectionist. Perfectionism is just a fancy way of procrastinating. It's our brains way to put off finishing a project (or sometimes even starting that project). This is the form of procrastination I struggle with the most. A good rule to follow here is to set a time limit for a project or task and when it's done it's done. No fussing or wasting time tweaking it for hours; it's done, and it's time to move to the next task. 

The main focus of this point is simply learning to say no. Especially as a homeschool mom I've noticed people tend to think that I have all the time to do all the things. I remember early in my homeschool journey we were thinking about moving and a friend said "Oh yay! you'll be so close, we can go shopping and to Starbucks several times a week!" Now, I enjoy spending time with this friend, but she is a stay at home mom, no outside job, and her kids are in public school. At the time, I was just transitioning to working from home full time and a new homeschooler... our days looked different to say the least! To put it bluntly, she had way more time to waste than I did. To the outsider however, we were the same and both just had an abundance of time. This is a common misconception, so it's our job to respectfully set boundaries and let our friends and family know that, "No, I can't volunteer for everything". "No, you can't drop by whenever you want to chat and have coffee (barring emergencies of course)." and "No, I'm not available to (fill in task here) just because you don't see me going to a 9-5 every day." If you don't respect your time, no one will. 

I told y'all earlier that my anxiety is so bad that when I get overwhelmed I go into paralyzed mode. I physically can't do anything and usually will sleep A LOT during these moments of paralysis. I'm not going to repeat the info here, but follow the organizational dos and dont's listed at the beginning of this blog to help prevent overwhelm. It's one of the hardest ones to totally prevent, especially if you struggle with anxiety and depression like I do, but it can absolutely be managed. 

I've got several freebies for y'all today. 

1. Self Check "How Organized Am I" Workbook. 

2. Time Audit Worksheet  (tutorial video here) 

3. Weekly/Daily Organizational Checklists

4. Daily Planner

5. Weekly To Do List

6. Monthly Self Assessment Sheet (tutorial video here) 

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