This topic is so important all year round, but especially going into the New Year (yes, this blog post was written a couple months ago lol). Don't stop reading though, this information is good all year round! We’re smack dab in the middle of the Christmas season as I'm creating this blog and that usually means self care is the thing that falls by the wayside if you’re not careful. As you're reading this, you're probably feeling like you've finally recovered from Christmas, but now you have 1000 things on your plate and are running full speed ahead. Consistent self care is usually pretty low on our to do list, or if you're like me, it may be on there, but it's the first thing to be pushed aside when things get hectic.
If you’ve watched our videos before, welcome back! We appreciate you! If you’re new here welcome! I’m Tonya Johnson and I am The Holiday Homeschooler. I believe that learning should be fun, so so I enjoy working with parents from all walks of life to help them put the fun back into homeschooling while focusing on keeping a biblical worldview.
Speaking of having a biblical worldview, self care is one of those things that people sometimes have a hard time with. I typically see two extremes. Either it’s kind of villainized and self care is considered selfish and we’re taught we should burn the candle at both ends and be a martyr for our families, OR it’s glorified to the point where we’re taught to be selfish and worry about "me, me, me" instead of our families. Neither side portrays what the Bible says about taking care of our minds and our bodies, so I want to share with you 7 ways that we can practice self care with a biblical mindset as a homeschool mom.
1. Journaling
Y’all have heard me talk about this before, and I will proclaim it from the rooftops until the day I die. This has been the one thing that’s kept my mental health in check for over a decade now. I like to do what’s called Jesus journaling. You can click here for a video detailing exactly what this looks like and even has a free journaling pack you can download to get yourself started.
2. Prioritize Sleep
I know that this one is easier said than done when you have kids especially if you have babies or even toddlers that are in seasons of not sleeping through the night, but sleep is the #1 thing that I’d prioritize aside from your daily walk with God. I’ve played around with different things over the years with this, but one things that’s remained consistent is if my night time routine is on point, then my sleep is on point. That doesn't mean I go to sleep at the same time every night either. What I personally do is prioritize the amount of sleep vs the time I go to sleep or get up. For me that number is 6-7 hours, so my rule is I can go to bed whenever I want, but I don't set my alarm for less than 6 hours later 99% of the time.
3. Night Time Routine
For me my night time routine is super simple, I start a load of laundry and start the dish washer because even if the house is less than tidy, doing those two things make me feel like I at least made progress. I take a bath or shower, put on clean pjs, do a very simple night time routine, and then go to bed. Sometimes I’ll let myself have 20 min of scrolling through pinterest boards or reels, but If I do that I set a timer because otherwise 20 min can turn into 3 hours.
4. Morning Routine
Similarly to having a good night time routine, a good morning routine also feeds into not only our sleep, but our overall mood throughout the day. I can always tell when I start my day this way vs when I start with a rushed morning. Again, seasons will change with how you do this, but the routine will stay the same. What I like to do is get up, unload the dishwasher, switch over the load of laundry, grab a cup of coffee, and then do my journaling all while my daughter is still sleeping. Seasons definitely change with this, but I like to get up 90 min to 2 hours before she does and start my morning this way. When she was really little, that meant starting my days at 4 am because she naturally woke up at 530. As a preteen, she no longer wakes up that early haha . Getting up early meant prioritizing going to bed early which when she was little wasn’t an issue. Unloading the dishwasher first things allows for dishes to be added all throughout the day and then I can easily start the cycle before bed, and switching over the laundry first thing means we at least have clean clothes… even if we have to dig through the basket or the dryer to find them. No days are going to be perfect, but somewhat sticking to a night time and morning routine will keep your emotions pretty even which in my opinion is a huge win in the self care department. After I’m done journaling I wake my daughter up and she gets herself dressed and ready for the day and tidies up her room as I do the same thing, then we grab breakfast and usually get started on school or go for a walk depending on what season we’re in.
5. Daily Move Your Body
This doesn’t mean you have to workout every day, although you can, but it may just mean that you take a walk. Right now we’re in the season of taking walks together my daughter and I. I didn’t realize how inactive she was until I started tracking my steps and knowing that majority of what I was doing she was doing also. We’re a low screen family, so I never really thought there was anything wrong with her schedule. She’s high functioning autistic. She loves doing anything crafty and will spend hours making bracelets or painting, but when I realized how inactive she was, I decided it was time to start moving together. Currently we love walking in the evenings because we love walking around seeing all the Christmas lights, but during the summer months we walk early in the morning as the sun is coming up, otherwise it’s unbearably hot by like 8 am. We also love to swim in the summer, so that gets us up and moving as well.
6. Get Outside
This can go with #5, but it doesn’t have to. This could be just getting outside and walking around your garden in the morning checking on all your plant babies. It could be sitting on your front porch drinking your coffee. It could literally be anything. We’ve lived in every extreme when it comes to weather at this point. During the winter months of single digit weather, we’d go for walks in full snow gear in the middle of the afternoon and enjoy jumping in snow mounds and making snowmen. During the heat of the southern summers we now have, we enjoy a lot of pool time. During high rain seasons I like to set up a card table at the end of the garage and sit just inside where I can still hear, see, and smell the rain without getting wet. There are lots of ways to enjoy being outside even in not great weather, and studies have shown that just going outside and experiencing nature boosts your mood dramatically.
7. Fuel Your Hobby
This is something I was hesitant to add because a lot of the times as moms we’re thinking, hobby? I don’t even have time to fold clothes let alone have a hobby. If you’re joyful in what you’re doing as a wife and mom, there’s no need to add this is. There will be plenty of time to fuel your hobby when your kids are grown and gone. If you’re feeling depressed and like you just don’t enjoy motherhood however, you may need something that’s only yours to light that spark again. Communicate with your spouse, ask for help with someone watching your kids for 90 min while you go to a pottery class, or do some extra cooking or baking after the kids are in bed if that’s your thing. The point is, prioritize self care so that you can see the joy in motherhood. Our kids, specifically our daughters, are already going to see all the negative on social media as they get older about how motherhood is basically day drinking and hating your life. Don’t let them see that from us also. They should have memories of mom enjoying them and enjoying their father, not living a life of misery. That means that we need to prioritize self care so we can actually enjoy the season of life that we’re in.
Still Need More?
That brings me to the last two things. If you’re doing 1-7 consistently and still feel like something’s wrong, maybe you’re tired and/or depressed most of the time, you need to go to a professional. Thankfully the stigma around seeking help is getting lighter as the years go on.
Therapy
Going to a therapist shouldn’t be taboo. More people should talk about it because it really does a world of good to be able to talk to somebody when you’re in a dark season.
Vitamins
I’m not talking about buying plexus products or the latest mlm vitamins that your friend on social media is selling. I’m talking about going to a doctor, getting a blood panel done, and then getting the vitamins you need for your body to function at optimal levels. I did this about a year ago now and found out I have 4 types of PCOS, my iron levels were basically gone, and my body doesn’t produce progesterone or estrogen hardly at all but overproduces testosterone which all of that combined led to a host of health issues including me being exhausted all of the time. Now, nothing changed over night and I’m still working on some things, but I can tell you I feel a ton better now than I did 12 months ago and have really high hopes for the next 12 months.
I’m available to answer any questions you have by dming me on Facebook at Tonya Gray Johnson or on instagram @theholidayhomeschooler. Self care gets a bad rep, but it really is as simple as sleeping, giving your body the proper nutrition, and working in some things into your schedule that you look forward to. Yes, spa days and getting our nails done are nice, but that’s not realistic for a lot of moms. What is realistic is doing small, every day habits like what I’ve listed above on a consistent basis. If you have self care tips or ideas that work for you, I’d love to hear them in the comment section, and I’ll see y’all next week.
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